Libby Shively McAvoy has started over more than once. Her advice for the rest of us fits in two words.
Start messy.
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Back in June, near the end of this conversation, Libby asked me what's next.
My answer: find somebody to produce these shows.
I also told her that if this episode came out a month later, it would be a miracle.
No miracle. It's been more than four months.
But the first part came true. The AGN Group produces Authbition now.
One more thing. Libby is an editor at Dancing Elephants Press. That's the first Medium publication that ever published one of my essays. My first submission came back with notes, and I was thrilled. I felt like a student again.
So when I reached out to Libby, it felt like reaching up.
When she said yes, I was thrilled.
Libby flipped the script before we got going. Her first question was for me: how did I come up with this show? Then she told me how she ended up on Medium. Her first post there, an About Me, is still up and still unedited. She winces at the writing now, and leaves it anyway, as proof of where she started.
Dr. Mehmet Yildiz, her early mentor, told her to write it because readers want to know who you are. Editors' private notes did the rest. Then Dancing Elephants Press asked her to become an editor herself, and Dr. Gabriella Korosi's advice was simple: think about what you learned from your editors, and do that for the writers.
Her road to coaching started with a yoga studio she opened in 2016, with a blog to go with it. In 2019 she closed it. She was asking her husband for a divorce and needed real financial stability, and the studio paid the instructors and the overhead and not much else. So she went back to school: a wellness coaching certification, then a specialization in emotional intelligence, then somatic healing.
She also trained yoga teachers, and watched a lot of them chase one more certification instead of just getting on the mat and teaching. Her take: get started, and keep learning. She brings all of it to her coaching, including her own life. She survived physical and psychological abuse and refuses to live as a victim. Her mission is to awaken, inspire, and empower.
I asked her the question a lot of people have: therapy or coaching? Her answer: therapy looks to the past. Coaching takes stock of where you are and builds a plan forward.
We talked yoga, too. Her practice has changed as she has. Some days it's the full athletic practice she trained in. Some days it's supine stretches and meditation, and that's okay. Years ago her kids noticed the difference before she did: they told her she was so much nicer when she did yoga every day. That reminded me of the day I tried to drive to a friend's first yoga class and never made it, and how the traffic became my practice instead.
Then Libby read us the ending of her favorite of her three books, Just Start Theory, with an invitation to use the hashtag #JustStartMovement every time you start something new. After that, we played the Whole Mind Game. On the way out, we talked about why balance doesn't have to mean compromise, and about her latest article on why people hold on to anger after a divorce. Her answer: you wouldn't still be holding it if you'd truly let the person go.
We played a full round, on the two words this show is named for. Stefanie had the idea to ask several guests to play Authenticity & Ambition and see how different the answers get. Libby's were unlike anyone's.
Authenticity & Ambition.
The best of Authenticity: be free, be ourselves. Libby said it instantly. Mine was frictionless. No fighting with myself.
The worst of Authenticity: you can lose people. Some don't like it when you stop being who they wanted you to be. On the first night of Libby's yoga teacher training, her teacher Amber warned the class it would happen. It did, even with Libby's own parents. Mine was getting taken advantage of, the way teachers, nurses, and caregivers so often are.
The best of Ambition: Libby didn't call herself ambitious until her divorce pushed her. Now it's fun, exploring, curiosity, an open mind. Mine was impact.
The worst of Ambition: it can bruise the ego when something doesn't work. Libby didn't buy it as a downside, since every fail teaches you something. Mine was harming others. Ambition without discernment rolls right over people.
Together at their best: Libby pulled out curiosity, be ourselves, and impact, and turned them into a mission statement on the spot. Be ourselves, rise with curiosity, and have the greatest impact on others that we can. Mine: frictionless impact.
Together at their worst: even here, Libby found the positive. We don't want to get taken advantage of, but we have to try not to harm others, even if it means losing some people we love. Mine was pouring what I love into something that does harm, and giving up time with family to do it.
Ways to live the synergy and dodge the trap: keep a beginner's mind. Try poetry, dip a toe in fiction, cook something new. Bring people together. Libby threw a Cincinnati-style Oktoberfest by the pool for neighbors who only knew each other by sight, cooked all the food herself, and taught everyone the chicken dance. Now she's the neighborhood party planner. And when you can, meet your online people in real life.
If you've ever wondered whether you need a therapist or a coach, or how to tell a good coach from someone who just hung up a shingle, this one's for you. It's also for anyone who keeps waiting for the perfect moment to begin.
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Libby Shively McAvoy is a certified relationship and trauma recovery coach who specializes in emotional intelligence, and a yoga teacher trained in rocket yoga. She's an editor at Dancing Elephants Press on Medium and the author of three books: Narcissistic Abuse: Everything You Need to Know, A Road Map to Healing and Thriving (2024), Courage to Let Go (2025), and Just Start Theory (2025). She also contributed to the Dancing Elephants Press collection Holistic Journey Toward Wellness. She lives in Arizona, loves to cook for a crowd, and her clients say one of the best parts of working with her is how much she makes them laugh.
Find Libby at libbyshivelymcavoy.com, and read Dancing Elephants Press on Medium.
Thanks to Libby Shively McAvoy for turning the first question back on me, for reading us out with Just Start, and for finding the bright side even in the worst of the worst. Go check out her books and her coaching, linked above.
And thanks to everyone following along with Authbition as this show continues to grow into what it's becoming.
If you like what we're building with Authbition, please like, subscribe, and share.
I appreciate you!
🎬 Credits
This show was produced by The AGN Group. Design by Stefanie Morejon. Intro music by Jeff Tollefson.
Health, happiness, kindness, respect
for every being and all things.
— Andrew